The unexpected meeting. 

I wasn’t aware that you were coming in that certain place where I was going to. I somehow really missed you though, but this was so surprising. While me sitting along together with the other people, you unexpectedly show up which really shocked me at first. My heart just jumped out of its own, beating fast as it could be. I was so messed up at that time. I didn’t know what to do! I was panicking on how would I greet you, and talk to you once again. Talking to you once again…I really missed that. So I decided myself not to pretend that I didn’t notice you. And that’s the only way I can do to stop this continuous beating of my heart. But unfortunately, the more I avoid you, the more you can recognize me unexpectedly. So you went into me and greeted me with a simple “Hi”. Then, you held my hand and surprisingly hugged me so tightly that I could hear your heart beat so fast as mine too. “I really missed you.” You said, hugging me tighter.

I know what I’ve done to you was off and wrong. I know ignoring you was not the best thing that I did and that I should have gave you an explanation instead of keeping my mouth shut whenever you’re around for more than a year.

I know it’s wrong to have feelings for you again. I know I don’t have a place in your heart anymore. And I understand why, it’s all my fault anyways. But I hope you know I have no intentions of gaining you back because I know you deserve more than what I am. Aren’t you a big believer of the quote “When you like a flower, you pick it up. When you love a flower, you take care of it, and water it”. I’m not gonna pick you up this time. I’ll admire you as a person because you made me fall for you the second time around.

I just want to say sorry for feeling this way again for you. I know where I should stand, don’t worry. I hope you have a nice day because you deserve one.

Sometimes, I wonder why something so wrong would feel just so right. Why some things just had to be kept securely and why some things and why we had to let go of something we never really held tight. Sometimes, love can’t always change what were never meant to be. But there are always some things that couldn’t be denied. Some hearts would break even if it wasn’t meant to be broken. Some commitments just had to be left unfulfilled. Love has its own plan even if we don’t always know what it is.

I was never a professional heartbreaker. I didn’t intend to hurt others. I didn’t even want people to break down because of my insensitivity. I do have a heart and I know how hard it felt to have given yours away only to be handed it back broken. I never meant to break a heart but I admit, I did break one. I could have given out a thousand reasons as to why I had done it. I could have denied the fact that it had been my fault but I knew it would only worsen the dilemma I made myself. It was a dilemma and I did not want others to know. A secret kept so long hoping to have it forgotten as time goes by. But no matter how hard I tried to keep it inside, I just could not. It brought back memories and happy thoughts and feelings…feelings I had for the person I have always loved. It was hard. The only things that kept me going were the faded memories of that person and me together. 

Many of us go through life erroneously believing that happiness or unhappiness is largely determined by events in our environment for instance, how others react on us.

I’m always in awe of people who could write, who could use the nibs of their pens to paint words on paper canvas. Many times I’ve been left breathless with suspense or heavy-hearted or teary-eyed or even laughing while reading a book.

I admire people who can use words with such precision that one can almost smell the scent of newly cut grass after a brief downpour or taste a hearty and sumptuous feast. I also admire people who writes, online or even offline. With our new generation with latest technologies today, many people can write words without their pens and papers. They just use their keyboards and starts to write what they want to spill it out. Amateur, normal writers, professionals or even unprofessional writers, I really envy them. I could even call them authors. Perfect or not, I admire them for letting their words in their minds be reached to everybody’s hearts.

I think I could be a journalist in ten years. Yes, probably. By nature I am frank. I do not hesitate to say anything which I believe is true. And I believe in myself. And yet I think I’d really like to be a journalist someday. I think it is fun to be a journalist. But there are a lot of dangers in being a journalist. I realize that. But I believe in truth. For me, I only have to be honest, write or tell what is true, what is good, what is right. And if you believe truth, you’ll do anything for it.

I assure you I have loved no one else but you. I assure you that next to my family, it’s with you I drew some of my strength and to boast, I had never been this strong my whole life that’s why I prefer to be selfish on some things that would surely lessen your strength, the way I say things. Forgive me, if I had been selfish all these times but if I had to do it all through the remaining days of my life, I’ll do it to keep you from being hurt, because that’s the last thing I’m afraid of causing you. I love you and I really do and please be strong with what I am about to tell you and I’m really really sorry.

Humans have flaws. The world we’re all livin’ is not that perfect as well. Therefore we really can’t blame if the school has its own few bugs too. And really? To err is human. You don’t have to be so harsh if people had set forth their opinions about the school’s inadequacy, dissatisfaction from some teachings, uneasiness towards other schoolmates and this mean observations from other human beings who are also studying within the same academy. You really don’t have to say that they should leave the school if they would just complain. If you leave then you’re a loser for letting such a below par school make you quit and well maybe some of them are just stuck in the school and don’t have much of a choice but to stay even if how much they detest the institution. Another thing is, yes its true that “Everyone is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts.” (Quoted from Daniel Moynihan) yet, do you really want to make your 4 years such a very stressful experience because of so much hatred and insecurity? This person stares so brutishly? I mean, it is indeed true that feuds are inevitable. Well you can retaliate if that gives you satisfaction but c'mon? Isn’t it very tiring to hold on to grudge for too long? For the meantime, okay, let it all out. Use this page as your outlet, let those overwhelming emotions flare up here, but at some point in life you should learn the art of letting go. Too much chaos isn’t gonna help. Let alone, you’re all in the same school for Pete’s sake. Well, learning is a process. You won’t be just acquiring knowledge from the books, but i pretty sure you also learn how to get along with people.

Confessing your love for someone and then the feelings do not get reciprocated. Yes it’s painful, and yes this pain will probably burn for quite some time. But as long as there’s daylight in tomorrow, as long as this friendship has the slightest chance of making it through even though it would limp the whole way, one shall not lose hope, my light may seem far but its warmth will continue to embrace you.

Just because I’m hurt does not mean that I will forsake you as my friend. I asked you once to share me your pain and with this pain I shall grow, I will use it to understand you…not to judge or rush you but rather watch and wait for you. 

This new light I found shall shine and know that within me, you will always have a friend.

Marami sating babae ngayon e sinasaktan ang mga lalake. Yung hindi lang damdamin ang sinasaktan, kundi ang pisikal na anyo nila. Minsan, pinagtrip-tripan niyo talaga ang mga lalake. Sinusuntok-suntok niyo pa nga..sinisipa, sinampal-sampal niyo sila pagjinu-joke ka nila, hinahatak niyo pag mabagal kumilos at minsan iniinsulto mo sila kahit alam mong mao-offend sila. At marami din satin mga babae ay sinasaktan ang mga damdamin ng mga lalake. Niloloko,ginagamit,pinagtri-tripan at kung anu-ano pa kung wala kang magawa.. Ano ba sila? Punching bag para saktanin lang? Alam niyo, magkaparehas naman tayo sa mga lalake e. Patas na patas. At sa mga ginagawa niyo sa kanila, sa tingin niyo mabuti yan sa kapwa taong nasa paligid mo? Hindi na po tama yan. Bigyan niyo naman po sila ng konting respeto. May damdamin din sila, hindi sila kagaya ng isang robot na walang nararamdaman..di rin sila kasintigas ng bato ang mga puso at damdamin nila. Kung maisip niyo man na yung lahat na ginawa niyo sakanila ay isang malaking joke, para sakanila, hindi. Masakit na para sa kanila e. Hindi lahat ng lalake pinapakita ang nararamdaman. Pilit lang nila itong itago para maipakita nila sa atin na matatag sila, mapagkumbaba at nagbibigay sapat na respeto sa mga babaeng katulad natin Parang bullying na ata yung sinasaktan ng mga babae ang lalake at mga lalake ding sinasaktan ang mga babae. Hindi lahat ng mga lalake ay gago, minsan tayo rin mga babae..may pagkatanga din.

May mga tao talagang masunod lang yung ikasasaya nila, wala silang pakialam kung merong nasasaktang iba. Hindi naiisip kung ano ba talaga ang nararamdaman ng iba. Lalo na’t boyfriend/girlfriend mo pa. Mawala lang saglit eh meron na agad iba. Tapos meron din namang mga taong aali-aligid, mga “Abangers” mawala lang ng saglit yung isa bigla silang papasok at maninira ng relasyon ng iba. sana naman maintindihan nyo rin yung nararamdaman ng iba. TAO LANG rin sila, nasasaktan rin.

Imagine yourself being wrapped in a balloon. In this balloon, life seems so rough, full of struggles with much pains and few pleasures. There is no way out. Until one day that balloon breaks. You are on your way out, but something inside makes you long to find somewhere that balloon you were once in. This time, unbreakable, as it soars bravely beyond the thickens clouds.

I have been living with a simple life.
So simple that I have learned to be satisfied with what I can have. I thought that satisfaction would never last, and with the few pleasures I have, I would not long much. But as life took its turn, I pushed myself toward the opposite direction. Suddenly I fell, I stumbled..but I was lifted up!

I have spent my life in struggle of so many things.
A struggle through different circumstances. But life had been unfair to us, I did not win, but lose.

I am not perfect as anybody is,
But in my simple ways I tried to be one. I did whatever I thought was right, and what pleasant to those I dearly love. But all turned out a mess. I ended up a failure.

I turned away and chose another way to pass.
I thought that the struggles was over. I walked with the world. I was on my own. Nobody knows how far I went, except me and my Savior, it was a life so different, so enticing, and so alive. I thought I could have the satisfaction that I wanted. The world was so kind and really tempting..but in the end, it proved to be wrong.

I pushed myself towards that life so different but someone pulled me back behind my tracks.
I didn’t want to go back, so I ran an extra mile away. That running took me to another journey. I was drawn closer with the world. But just when I thought that my journey with the world would never end, I suddenly tripped on my toe. I expected the world to catch me, but I was never right. Nobody dared! They were just there..looked at me fall. I fell again! I was a pity. I was a shame.

I felt so tired and weak.
I was totally lost. It was the darkest chapter of my life. I laid myself in the corner..all I wanted was to rest. I didn’t want to go back, but something inside me told me to stand, but I could not. Then, I came to remember that someone who once pulled me back. As I looked back on my trail, still he was there behind. And even before I could ask Him for help, He stretched out his hand and carried me. I was shedding in tears as He took me back to the path where now I track.

There must be something He wants to look beyond..despite the pains, despite the trials, and despite the heartaches, he wants me to grow stronger no matter what happens. Life must go on! What I can only do is to accept the reality of it and bravely face the future with hope. I may be bruised and tired again and again in reaching the end of life, but with God, I can soar high despite all odds.